


5 times Harrison and Drew protected their virtue from their own husband, and 1 time it was protected from an outsider.

by CrayolaRainbow



Category: Kaleidotrope (Podcast)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Domestic, Fluff, Future Fic, Husbands, M/M, this would be G if some people (me) didnt have a potty mouth (or brain)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 10:17:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18569371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrayolaRainbow/pseuds/CrayolaRainbow
Summary: Virtue: Protected. Husband: Slightly miffed but also amusedFeat. domestic grown up Harridrew with grown up jobs.alt title: 5 times harridrew tried to save their virtue from the other while sleeping/drunk and one time they did it from someone else while sober and awake





	5 times Harrison and Drew protected their virtue from their own husband, and 1 time it was protected from an outsider.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Jules for the idea!
> 
> Beta'd by the wonderful Maika, follow her on Tumblr @MaikaMaika You can follow me on Tumblr @the-emerald7
> 
> Based on [this](https://meggannn.tumblr.com/post/184139190967) Reddit screenshot

1.

Harrison slid out from underneath Drew’s arm, careful to not wake him up. It was stupid early and all Harrison wanted to do was curl up under the covers next to his furnace of a husband. But alas, he had a house call at 8 so he could see how the family ran in the chaotic minutes before the school bus arrived. He also wanted to stop by the office first and pick up the files he needed for the rest of his appointments.

Harrison hopped into the shower and cranked up the heat. Drew wouldn’t be up for another hour at least, the lucky bastard. That gave the water heater plenty of time to heat back up, leaving Harrison able to use as much hot water as he wanted to without fear of getting a sulky text from a cold and wet Drew. As much as he enjoyed getting photos of wet Drew, it wasn’t worth ticking him off so early and setting him up for a terrible day.

Shower done, Harrison blasted through the rest of his morning routine. Getting dressed, makeup, breakfast, packing his lunch. Harrison did one final check to make sure everything was ready to go. His bag was packed, his eyeliner was still good, he hadn’t spilled on himself while making his lunch. Everything was good to go.

Harrison crept back into the bedroom to give Drew a quick kiss goodbye. In his absence, Drew had sprawled across the bed. Harrison knelt on the bed and pressed a quick peck to Drew’s lips.

“Boy, I sure hope that was my husband,” Drew muttered.

Harrison froze.

He did a quick check, and yeah, Drew was still asleep. Harrison started giggling quietly. “Yeah baby, it sure is,” he said, pressing a kiss to Drew’s forehead. “I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

Drew just snuffled and rolled over in response.

 

2.

Drew weaved his way through the crowd back to their table, drinks in either hand. Harrison and Drew didn’t usually go out clubbing together, but they made an exception for Hal’s bachelorette party. As best man, it was technically Drew’s job to plan the bachelorette party, but Hal and Harrison had both banned him from doing any sort of planning. Drew had been a bit miffed at first, but relinquished control to Harrison without fuss.

It was a good decision. Harrison had gotten everything perfect without needing to ask Hal. Drew still wasn’t sure how he managed that feat, and Harrison refused to tell him. Drew could feel the bass in his bones, and they all had to shout to be heard anywhere close to the dance floor. He reached their table without spilling a drop and he took a moment to be pleased with himself for that fact.

Harrison had his back to the dance floor and Drew could hear him squealing about… something. He couldn’t tell the specifics, it was too loud to hear Harrison over the music and all the people laughing and talking around them. Drew set down the drinks on either side of Harrison and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck.

“Hey gorgeous.”

Harrison spun around in Drew’s arms and giggled. “Nooooo, you can’t,” he said, pushing Drew away slightly, “I’m maaaarried, you can’t kiss me!”

Drew smiled and grasped Harrison’s shoulders lightly. “But baby, we’re married to each other.”

“Nooooo,” said Harrison. He took a sip from his glass. “I’m married to _Drew_. You’re Caaaallllll.”

Behind Harrison, Drew could see Hal and the rest of their friends laughing at the two of them. “Alright Harrison. I think you’ve had had enough. Come on, have some water.” Drew carefully pulled the cocktail out of Harrison’s hand and replaced it with the glass of water he had intended for himself. He turned to the table. “I think we’re gonna head out. Hal, I hope you enjoy the rest of your night. We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Hal waved them off. “Go, take care of your man.”

 

3.

It had been a long night. Harrison’s last meeting had gone late, later than a normal amount of late. They planned a bit of a buffer into their radio schedule for times like this, but Harrison’s overtime today had completely eaten up the buffer and then some.

Harrison had insisted Drew start without him, and he obliged. Drew could hold his own, and if he had to play more music than usual, then oh well. What Drew thought would happen though, was that Harrison would go home, get a good night sleep and eat a proper dinner and he’d do the whole show by himself.

What actually happened was this: Harrison had come bursting into the booth 20 minutes late, a box of Samoas in his right hand and suit coat in his left. His tie was loosened and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He looked like a hotter, sweatier and sexier version of the Harrison from their very first show together.

Drew was not ashamed to admit that he stopped mid word of the text he was reading out loud and just stared. He could feel his face burning at the sight of his sexy as fuck husband.

“Hi,” Harrison said, out of breath.

“Hi,” Drew squeaked in a totally normal tone of voice.

“I brought cookies!” Harrison took his seat next to Drew and gave him a peck on his Very Red cheek.

“I— Bu— _What_ ” Drew blustered as Harrison turned on his mic. “What are you even doing here, I thought you were going home and sleeping!”

Harrison beamed. “But Drew, I’d much rather be here with you!” Harrison turned to the microphone. “And our dear listeners.”

The show had gone on… semi normally after that. The texts just kept coming and coming and coming. They’d barely had a moment enough to spare so they could answer questions from their email box, from listeners who didn’t listen live and listened in when they uploaded it as a podcast.

Harrison had insisted on responding to Every. Single Text. AND responding to all of the emails they had picked out before the show.

Which is how they ended up straggling up the stairs to their apartment at half past midnight. Harrison had fallen asleep in the car, leaving Drew to half carry, half drag a still sleeping Harrison up the stairs. Unlocking the door was an adventure.

Drew had half a mind to just dump Harrison on the bed and let him sleep where he landed. Instead, he just sighed and pulled off Harrison’s shoes and stripped him down to his underwear. He tucked him in and then left the room to go do the evening chores. Radio days were always the toughest on Harrison, who more often than not couldn’t, or wouldn't, take a half day before the show like Drew did. Harrison woke up at 6 every morning and on radio days they often didn’t get home until 11.

Drew puttered around the quiet apartment, picking up things that had gotten left behind in the morning chaos. He finished putting away the dishes from that day and made sure both their laptops were plugged in and charging.

Tasks done, Drew went to the bedroom to go collapse on the bed and sleep, absolutely exhausted. He undressed as quickly as he could in his sleepy state and got in the bed next to a snoring Harrison.

Or. He tried to.

Harrison shoved Drew out of bed and he landed on the floor with a strong _Ooof._

“What the hell,” Drew said as he climbed back up the bed. He laid down next to Harrison again.

_Shove_

“Excuse, me, I’m married,” Harrison said sleepily. 

Drew paused mid getting up. Did he. Did he really just say that?? Drew snorted at the thought and in his exhausted state, the snort turned into a giggle, which turned into a full on belly laugh. Drew lay there on the ground for a few minutes, as he waited for the giggles to subside. Every time he thought they were gone, they came back and he was a giggly mess all over again. Eventually though, he managed to slip into bed beside Harrison and took up the mantle of being big spoon, to hopefully avoid any more shoving. He pressed a kiss to the top of Harrison’s head and was asleep before he finished.

 

4.

Drew sighed and resisted the urge to slam his head against the keyboard. His deadline was only a few hours away and he could not for the life of him figure out the opening paragraph or the closing paragraph. He had the rest of the article on lock, but those two paragraphs were like a thorn in his side.

The chaotic nature of the bullpen around him wasn’t helping. Drew worked from home as often as he could, but he still had to actually show up sometimes. Ever since he’d been allowed to pick his schedule, he avoided printing day like the plague. The bullpen was like a swarm of bees had been released, no one was quiet, and everyone was running around.

Drew was at the bullpen today so he could walk over to someone and ask their opinion face to face, instead of waiting for an email they might not see until it was too late to be helpful. He’d forgotten about the fact that since his deadline was today… so was everyone else’s. Whoops.

So here he was, stressed out of his mind, supposed to be at home right now, unable to let himself leave until he was done.

Drew partially gave into the urge to face plant onto his keyboard and compromised with himself. He shoved the keyboard towards the monitor and face planted onto the desk instead.

_RING RING RING_

Drew groaned. Some sort of awful noise was coming from the landline. _“Hnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg.”_ Drew sat up reluctantly and picked up the phone.

“Hullo?”

“Hi! This is Summer from the front desk. There’s someone here with flowers for you, well, for Cal, says they’re from a secret admirer?”

Drew pinched the brow of his nose and sighed. The downside to being Cal was the sheer amount of not so secret admirers sending him flowers and gifts all the goddamn time. The flowers were lovely, and he wouldn’t mind the gifts if they didn’t turn Harrison into a jealousy monster every time Drew came home with an armful of gifts and flowers.

“Tell them to fuck off, I’m married.” Drew returned his forehead to its new home on his desk and closed his eyes, phone still pressed to his ear.

Summer squeaked and there was a pause as she presumably relayed his message. “Um, he says to tell you that he knows, and that they’re from Rav.”

Drew’s eyes flew open and he sat up ramrod straight in his chair. _Fuck_. He was in soooooo much trouble. “Um. Send him in Summer. That’d be the other Mr. Seabrooke-Collins”

“But I thought his name was—“

Drew cut her off. “It is. Don’t worry about it. Just send him in, he knows where to find me.”

Drew hung up and quickly rearranged his desk so it looked like a functional human being was using it. An exercise in futility really, he knew it would never work on Harrison. He pulled the keyboard back to its usual place and put his fingers on the keys like he was ready to type… something.

Just in time too. Harrison strode up behind him and planted a wet smack on his cheek.

“Get your coat Andrew,” Harrison said, standing back up. He wasn’t shouting, but he was definitely loud enough for the people around them to hear. 

Drew flushed. He didn’t have to check to guess that there was now a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek.

“I can’t,” Drew said. “I’ve got a deadline in-“ he checked the time on the computer. “Two hours and I can’t figure out these two fucking paragraphs.”

Harrison tapped him on the shoulder. “Up, up. I wasn’t joking, go get your coat, we’re leaving.”

Drew stood up. “But what about the-“

Harrison slid into the seat and gave Drew a gentle shove towards the coat rack. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it. If I can’t figure this out by the time you get back, I’ll stay here and help until we figure it out, mmkay?” Harrison turned his full attention towards the monitor.

Drew took a second to take a long look at his husband. His hair was curling ever so slightly at the temple and Drew knew that his slightly tousled hair was no accident. He was wearing a blazer and button up, and, Drew swallowed, what looked like one of Drew’s ties. His black cigarette pants were perfectly tailored and ended right above— oh fuck, right above his black and red heels. The combination made his legs look fantastic. He looked fucking amazing, while Drew was wearing- he looked down at his own outfit- a rumpled button up and jeans.

Drew shook himself out of his adoration and turned to go get his coat. He forced himself to walk semi-slowly over to the coat rack to give Harrison the maximum amount of time to fix Drew’s article. What he did not do, however, was engage in any small talk. The coat rack was right next to the coffee pot, a minefield of distractions and distracting people who were trying to pull him away from his mission. Drew tried to convince himself that he artfully and politely dodged all inquiries as he grabbed his coat. (He did not) Again he forced himself to walk, not run, across the bullpen back to Harrison.

Drew planted a kiss on Harrison’s temple, careful to not mess up his hair. “How’s it going darling?” he asked, peering at the screen from next to Harrison’s head.

“I think I’ve juuuusssstttt— There we go.” Harrison spun around in the chair and pecked Drew on the mouth. “Here, check it out.”

Drew and Harrison switched seats. Drew scanned the paragraphs and— “Holy shit Harrison.” 

Harrison had, in only a few minutes, completely changed his opening and closing paragraphs. At the same time though, they were exactly the same. Just a few words here, a sentence added there, a few words deleted and it was fresh and perfect. And to top it all off, they sounded like something Drew wrote. He didn’t have to change a damn thing.

Drew resisted the urge to pull Harrison down into a celebratory kiss. He didn’t want to be responsible for his actions afterwards. They were still in the bullpen after all.

“How the hell did you manage that?” He asked, voice full of wonder.

“Honey, I’ve been reading your articles for years now, I know how you write. And besides, I’ve got how many Cal articles memorized? And,” he said as he sat down on the corner of the desk, “I know exactly how your brain works on a deadline. You stress out and focus to hard and send yourself into a cycle of bad writing that you can’t get out of because you refuse to let yourself write poorly and work it out.”

Drew sighed. “You’re right.”

Harrison beamed. “I know!”

“Well, as long as we’re in agreement.” Drew did one last check of the article and made sure there were no horrendous typos or grammatical errors. “There. It’s done.” Drew shut his laptop and zipped up his bag before standing up and shrugging his coat on. He grabbed his bag and headed towards the door. He turned back towards his desk where Harrison was still sitting on the corner.

“You coming?” He asked

Harrison smiled. “Nah, I’m just gonna sit here and wait until you realize you don’t have the car keys _or_ know where I parked.”

Drew waved him off with a smile. “Eh, I’ll be fiiine.” Drew turned back towards the door and continued to head out. As soon as his back was turned he could hear Harrison laughter getting closer and closer, before Drew felt a hand grasp his.

“Glad you caught up.”

“I decided I didn’t want you to wander the parking garage alone.”

“You’re too kind, really.”

And with that they walked out together, hand in hand.

 

5.

Drew snuffled slightly and opened his eyes. “Whazzit— Where am I?”

Harrison grabbed his phone and switched the camera on. Hal had made him promise to record high Drew and send the video to her. “You’re at the dentist’s office, Drew. You just got your wisdom teeth taken out.”

“Oh.” There was a pause as Drew sat up and blinked the grogginess out of his eyes. “You’re really pretty.” Drew’s hand flew to his mouth. “Ohhhh shit. I’m not allowed to say that.”

“What do you mean?” Harrison asked.

“Well,” Drew leaned in like it was some big secret. “I’m maaarrried. My husband wouldn’t like it. He’s so nice, and thoughtful and I love him so much. And he’s reaaaallly pretty. Like prettier than you. Which is saying something, because you’re really pretty too.”

Harrison started giggling. “Drew, baby, _I’m_ married to you. I’m your husband.”

Drew’s eyes went comically wide. “Ohhhh shit, really?!? How long??

Harrison smiled. “Almost 5 years.”

‘M the luckiest person ev’r!”

“Damn right you are. Come on, let’s get you home.”

 

+1

Drew yawned as he walked out of the bathroom, rubbing his temples in an effort to ward off the headache from the loud music and lights of the club. It was late, later than they usually stayed out, but Harrison had been getting antsy. He wanted to dance, to go clubbing, to drink in the atmosphere. And Drew, loving husband that he was, tagged along, even though it was so far from his usual scene. He much preferred the quiet murmurings of a library or bookstore or coffee shop. And besides, Harrison had been more than happy to tag along on Drew’s things, so Drew was more than happy to come with Harrison.

Drew scanned the dance floor for Harrison, but couldn’t quite tell if he was in the mass of bodies bouncing and dancing around. When he left to go the the bathroom, Harrison had been sitting at the bar, but there was always a chance he had changed his mind and decided to dance instead.

Drew kept his eyes open for Harrison as he walked down the line of the bar. He was just… ah, there. Drew’s face brightened as he saw the back of Harrison’s holographic jacket, but something was off. Drew cocked his head to the side at the sight of Harrison sitting ramrod straight in his chair, an unusual sight in the first place, but even more so after multiple drinks. Drew’s brow furrowed and he let his vision go one farther past Harrison to see the person he was talking to.

The guy sitting next to Harrison was a Chad to top all Chads. He looked like a gym rat to end all gym rats. He was all muscle and looked like he had either recently been working out or had taken a bath in oil. Drew watched in horror as the Chad placed his hand on Harrison’s stiff shoulder and _smiled_ at him. Smiled at him!!

Anger billowed inside Drew at the audacity of this Chad to touch his fucking husband when he was so _clearly_ uncomfortable. Drew strode over with _intent_ , his best customer service smile plastered on his face. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“Get your hand off of my husband,” Drew commanded as he walked up behind Harrison.

Both Harrison and the Chad startled at his voice, but the Chad didn’t remove his hand from Harrison’s shoulder.

Drew slid a protective arm around Harrison’s waist and the fake smile dropped. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

The Chad sneered. “I don't believe you. You’re probably just his best friend. I doubt you’re even gay, you’re probably just some European twat.”

“I can assure you, my husband is both gay _and_ European,” Harrison said as he plucked the Chad’s hand off his shoulder with the tips of his pointer finger and thumb and unceremoniously dropped it into the Chad’s lap. “I swear he never ever ever swings the other way.”

“Oh, _please_ , he’s straight.”

Harrison’s eyes narrowed and a smug smile spread across his face. “He was not yesterday.” Harrison stood up abruptly from the bar stool and pulled Drew’s arm tighter around him. “Come on baby, we’re going.”

They paid their tab off and made a quick exit out of the club, arms still around each other as they giggled their way to the car.

“I cannot believe,” Drew said between gasps of the cold night air, “that you quoted _Legally Blonde_ ” at him.”

“I can’t believe it _worked!_ ” Harrison giggled. There was a pause as they continued walking, before: “Hey, thanks for being my knight in shining armor there,” Harrison said quietly.

“Of course.” Drew stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pulled Harrison into a searing kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Harrison said, a bit breathlessly. “Now,” he said, smacking Drew on the butt. “Let’s get home so I can give you a _real_ thank you.” Harrison winked and Drew felt his face go up in flames.

“Okay.”

_And they lived happily ever after._

**Author's Note:**

> Section 4 is *1.3k* and 6 pages long. Can you tell I have Thoughts about their future life and jobs?
> 
> If you don't understand the Legally Blonde reference at the end of the plus 1, then PLEASE go watch this wonderful video [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pCybcpkm5c), or go check out the song "There! Right there!" from Legally Blonde the Musical on your favorite music app.


End file.
